THE BENT

This is what it looks like when you do a handstand at the top of the stairs and fall down onto somebody who is coming up.
To accomplish this move, kick your enemy in the balls and lay him out flat. Then, grabbing his ankles, sit down on his buttocks and proceed to twist ankles in the opposite direction until he gives up.

To accomplish this move, simply take a running dive at your enemy's crotch, grab on, and munch away.

Sage: OM NOM NOM.

"Ah man, I was so wasted at the party last night."

I know, dude. Must've been too much of that Black Poison Punch."

Nothing like 40 pounds of metal connecting with your erection to give "Bone Crushing" a literal meaning.
The Rising Sun Kick: a gift of light to be shed where the Sun Don't Shine.

Pull Cye's arm back and release after hearing a juicy pop. Congratulations! You've just dislocated Cye's arm.

Now, mix up some Everclear, antifreeze, and fruit juice and knock out the Warlords with your powerful Lightning Punch!

Sage of the Third Reich includes a lightning bolt chest logo that morphs into a swastika, and a voice box that recites "Sieg Heil!" and "Wir mussen die Juden ausrotten!" when you raise the arm.
They call this the Tenku Kamikaze Kick because if performed while wearing roller skates, balls will be busted.

Also known as the Horny Boa Glomp Grip in a new campaign to beat the Dynasty: hugging them to death. Especially Sekhmet, who has really bad B.O.

Suffo-rin!

When you get tired of fighting the Dynasty, grab the nearest Warlord and get into a wheelbarrow race. Whoever makes it 100 yards and still has all their front teeth wins! (Extra points for buttfucking.)
Porn Web Cyclone. Don't know whether to file this under yoga or sexual assault. Can't be good for your spine, either way.

Holy God, look at the attacker's legs. If breaking your legs in 4 places is what it takes to win, maybe winning isn't everything.

Tao Punto!

"Forno Toppa Pull"? Are they just making shit up now?

"Hey, Bill, how about 'forno'? It sounds like 'porno' and 'fornication' put together!"

"Good idea, Jim! It matches the pose, too. How about 'toppa pull'?"

"I like it! Sounds like a brand of taffy."

Kum Nao!

Start by jumping on your enemy's back. Wrap your legs around his hips and your hands around his face. Proceed to gouge his eyes out until all life operations have ceased. (Extra points for buttfucking.)

Free RW fanart to the first person who can give me a definition for "belindo".

A relaxing stretch? A horrible accident? Two men involved in an epileptic seizure? I don't know what to make of this pose, but it looks like one dislocated knee and two broken ankles to me.

Hoo dang!

"Wedge ____ between the legs of another figure" always gets me. This might be physically possible, unlike most of these poses. If you ever find yourself stuck between an attacker's legs, go for the Achilles tendon and try severing it with your teeth. If you still have any left.

Rekka Power Roll sounds like caffeinated sushi you eat for breakfast. But since it's not, take a look at this questionable pose! Each opponent has the other by the ankles, and it looks like everybody's going nowhere fast! The object of this move is to a) keep your arms from being pulled out by the roots while b) trying to force your enemy face first into the ground and beat him to death with your own skull.

Mondo bend!

There is nothing tornado about this move, but there's plenty of Twister.

"Left hand blue!"

"Right foot red!"

And the next thing you know, some dude's junk is down your throat.

If you ever end up on your enemy's shoulder like this, just dislocate your arm (won't be hard, Cye's was already pre-dislocated in the Lightning Punch round) and grab his testicles. Alternate between squeezing and twisting and pulling as hard as you can. If he still hasn't surrendered, just rip 'em off and be on your merry way.

 

 

I saved the best for last. The Flexplex move is the most dangerous, powerful, deadly move in all mankind. It's so deadly that both opponents must hold hands or die horribly. It's so dangerous that they have to wrap their legs around one another and scream incessantly. This move is so powerful that it's been known to completely alter reality, non-reality, and most importantly, sexual orientation.

Upon completion of the FlexPlex Tsoban, both parties are irrevocably and irreversibly homo.